Thursday, May 30, 2013

Who Likes Good News? Everyone? Then Good News Everyone!

I’m a little late opining on the desecration of the majestic beauty of the Black Hills of South Dakota by enshrining the Hopiate of the Masses on Mount Rushmore.

The pampered poodle stenographers of a dying media have, since 2007, wielded their power to secure the double immaculation of a corrupt Chicago politician with a flair for mimicking speech patterns and an innate talent for reading from teleprompters.

“Historical judgments take time to form and Obama is still in office,” said George Washington University history professor Edward Berkowitz. “It could be that he will be one of the great presidents, worthy of having his likeness carved on a mountain, but certainly not yet.”

Professor Paul Wahlbeck, a professor and chairman of the political science department at GWU, said he is “reluctant to venerate political leaders while or shortly after they served,” but still remains optimistic.

“History undoubtedly will accord President Obama a special place by virtue of being the first African American President,” Wahlbeck said in an email to The College Fix.

Five days after the story at The College Fix was picked up by national news outlets, the good professor hastily clarified, “my comment that President Obama would receive a special place in history did not mean it should be on Mount Rushmore.”

Professor Farnsworth has good news for everyone:  Plans are being formulated by the DNC and George Soros to remove Abraham Lincoln from his memorial in DC and replace him with ‘Ol Jug Ears with his feet up on the Resolute Desk.

Won’t that be nice?  We’re so lucky we’re able to worship a tin god.

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