Performing The Miracle Of Turning Unlimited Debt Into Unimaginable Prosperity

Alright gang, Christmas is over.  Time to face the music.

If you haven’t read Kyle Becker’s The Progressive Bible: Obama’s Genesis, you really should.  Here’s just some of his parody:

In the beginning Obama promised to create a heaven on earth. 

And his believers’ minds were without form, and void; and awe-struck looks were upon the faces of the asleep. And the Spirit of Obama moved upon the faces of the believers. 

And Obama said, Let there be debt: and there was debt.

We learn today that the Chicago Messiah plans to return early from his annual vacation to Hawaii in order to take part in talks to avert the fiscal cliff.  Congress is also due to return to the capital on Thursday.

“God only knows” how a deal can be reached now, said Speaker John Boehner.

If negotiations between His O’liness and Congress collapse completely, 2013 looks like a rocky year.

Taxes would jump $2,400 on average for families with incomes of $50,000 to $75,000, according to a study by the non-partisan Tax Policy Center. Because consumers would get less of their paychecks to spend, businesses and jobs would suffer.

At the same time, Americans would feel cuts in government services; some federal workers would be furloughed or laid off, and companies would lose government business. The nation would lose up to 3.4 million jobs, the Congressional Budget Office predicts.

Several tax breaks begun in 2009 to stimulate the economy by aiding low and middle-income families are also set to expire at the beginning of 2013.  For example, the alternative minimum tax would expand to catch 28 million more taxpayers, with an average increase of $3,700 a year. Taxes on investments would rise, too. More deaths would be covered by the federal estate tax, and the rate climbs from 35 percent to 55 percent. Some corporate tax breaks would end.

If the nation goes over the fiscal cliff, budget cuts of 8 percent or 9 percent would hit most of the federal government, touching all sorts of things from agriculture to law enforcement and the military to weather forecasting. A few areas, such as Social Security benefits, Veterans Affairs and some programs for the poor, are exempt.

The New York Times has an article in today’s paper that cites noted research economists at the Bank for International Settlements, Stephen Cecchetti and Fabrizio Zampoli.  They say, “The United States, along with the rest of the industrialized West, has been on an unsustainable fiscal path for decades.”  They predict that unless radical reforms are adopted the public debt will exceed 400% of GDP.

Such debt levels are wildly implausible, as creditors would likely stop lending to Western governments long before such levels are reached. Some politicians and economists may want to put a fig leaf on it, but the projections by Cecchetti and others mean that the West is effectively bankrupt.

I’d like to personally thank all those f%#king low-information voters for perpetuating this financial morass by re-electing The Protector of the People as Long As They Know Their Place and Belong to The Right Unions.