Thursday, August 25, 2011

Ars Musica: Trouser Trumpets For The Taliban

Gina Cavallaro, writing for Battle Rattle, says she was “shamed into” writing a story about the importance of trust between Marines and Afghan national army soldiers by her colleague Dan Lamothe.  She insists that Lamothe told her, “You owe it to all Marines.”
Call me uncouth, but shouldn’t we be wiping out Jihad by any beans necessary?
“So here’s the news:  audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.

I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard.  Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.

They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).

But farting?  That’s practically a sport.  OK, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.

So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned—you may have to hold it in…at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.”
Exit question:  Does the Marine brass also have an unnatural fear of dryer sheets?


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