Pull My Hoof

Last month Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell promised to give “everybody an opportunity to go on record and see how they feel about the Green New Deal.”

The resolution amassed significant but by no means widespread support on Capitol Hill — there were 67 co-sponsors in the House and 11 in the Senate, including several current or potential presidential contenders: Bernie Sanders, Kirsten Gillibrand, Elizabeth Warren, Cory Booker and Amy Klobuchar.

Penned by the Bronx Bolshevik, the Green New Deal was so sophomoric it was compared to a toddler’s crayon scribblings.

Her all-encompassing rail system would cover the nation “at a scale where air travel stops becoming necessary” leaving Americans living in the Great State of Hawaii to swim to the mainland to visit granny or enjoy Disneyland.

The GND would cost $93 trillion dollars and, best of all, the Federal Reserve would extend credit for all the infrastructure needed to retrofit all the buildings and houses in America with renewable energy sources through “new public banks that would extend credit too.”

The most outrageous claim was a “guarantee” that so much money would exist there would be “economic security for all who are unable or unwilling to work.”

1) By the end of the Green New Deal resolution (and accompanying fact sheet) I was laughing so hard I nearly cried. If a bunch of GOPers plotted to forge a fake Democratic bill showing how bonkers the party is, they could not have done a better job. It is beautiful. #GreenNewDeal

— Kimberley Strassel (@KimStrassel) February 7, 2019

“I’m not immediately afraid of what the Green New Deal would do to our economy and our government,” Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT) said. “Rather, after reading the Green New Deal, I’m mostly afraid of not being able to get through this speech with a straight face.”

To poke fun at the Green New Deal, Lee took to the Senate floor with a poster of President Ronald Reagan riding a velociraptor while firing a machine gun.

“Critics might quibble with this depiction of the climactic battle of the Cold War, because, while awesome, in real life there was no climactic battle. There was no battle with or without velociraptors,” Lee said. “The Cold War, as we all know, was won without firing a shot.”

The Utah senator added that point underscores his message “because this image has as much to do with overcoming communism in the 20th century as the Green New Deal has to do with overcoming climate change in the 21st.”

The Utah senator also argued that the abolishment of air travel would be especially difficult for a place like Hawaii, which is warm, isolated, and heavily reliant on tourism. Without airplanes, he explained, Hawaiians may be best served to look to Aquaman, the super hero from the sea kingdom of Atlantis, who Lee pointed out was also “a founding member of the Super Friends.”

“I draw your attention to the 20-foot impressive seahorse he’s riding. Under the Green New Deal, this is probably Hawaii’s best bet.”  

Hilarious. 😂@SenMikeLee (R-UT) wins the internet. And the best part is that this will be part of the Congressional Record forever. Well done 👏👏 https://t.co/277VmGaYtJ

— vad n (@vaddienajman) March 26, 2019

The Green New Deal struggled in the Senate failing to reach the necessary 60 votes to start debate on the non-binding resolution.

No senator voted to begin debate on the legislation, while 57 lawmakers voted against breaking the filibuster. Forty-three Democrats voted "present."

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