Sunday, May 31, 2015

He Can’t Even Negotiate A Curve

Secretary of State Kerry, 71, had left Sunday morning open in case talks with the nuclear-weapons-hungry Iranians were extended. They weren’t and “Ketchup Boy” decided to dress up in his little Lycra® outfit and cycle a route that had been part of the Tour de France. 

He climbed upon his elitist bicycle that he brings with him as he globetrots the world.  According to Agence France-Presse, he was riding at a low speed at the start of a challenging climb up the Col de la Colombière and, just like that, he fall-down-go-boom.

He managed to sustain a broken femur on the same leg he had hip replacement surgery on in 2009.  It could take up to six months for him to heal.  Conspiratorially speaking, just enough time for the Iranians to get their nukes.  Wait, I just remembered…Marie Harf, State Department Valley Girl was recently promoted to Senior Advisor for Strategic Communications.  The negotiations will continue apace.
Streif at Red State saliently opined, “Like Kerry, Obama’s foreign policy hit a curb, the Middle East, while going at a very slow speed for no particular purpose; it got dumped on its ass, and is now on the way to the hospital.”

“Regardless of how one feels about the politics and performance of the unmanly, bloviating, seemingly inbred Secretary of State, people of good faith can probably agree to wish him a speedy recovery. Just as we can all hope Obama’s foreign policy is euthanized before it kills more people and does more harm.” 

Rand Paul: A Study in Transparency

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Friday, May 29, 2015


An embarrassing kerfuffle started this week when an über-liberal website published a nearly 3,000 word “portrait” of self-proclaimed socialist, Bernie Sanders, the saggy-balled old man running for president as a Democrat in 2016.

In the writer’s effort to be “thorough” in his portrayal of Sanders, there appears a sentence that literally glosses over Sanders’ rape fantasies:  “He dabbled in carpentry and tried to get by as a freelance journalist for alternative newspapers and regional publications, contributing interviews, political screeds, and, one time, a stream-of-consciousness essay on the nature of male-female sexual dynamics.”

Sanders’ essay, published in 1972 in the Vermont Freeman, reads in part:
A man goes home and masturbates his typical fantasy. A woman on her knees, a woman tied up, a woman abused.”
 “A woman enjoys intercourse with her man—as she fantasizes being raped by 3 men simultaneously.”
According to CNN, Sanders’ campaign spokesman Michael Briggs is dismissing the bizarre article as a “dumb attempt at dark satire” that “in no way reflects his views or record on women.  It was intended to attack gender stereotypes of the 70s, but it looks as stupid today as it was then.”

No, Mikey, the essay is a glimpse into the psyche of a typical non-violent socialist with sexually violent fantasies.  Now, frankly I’m not particularly concerned about what this delusional socialist sot said 43 years ago.  What infuriates me is how the press poodles perpetually hyperventilated for three months over a comment made by then-Congressman Todd Akin (R-MO) who, at the time, was running for Claire McCaskill’s senate seat in 2014. 

Akin was being interviewed on a St. Louis TV station when he was asked about his staunch opposition to abortion in cases where women became pregnant after being raped.

“From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare,” Akin said. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something, I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”

Akins’ remark was both scientifically absurd and politically inept and rendered him irrelevant in his challenge to McCaskill.  He was roundly scolded by the GOP and asked to drop out of the race.

It’s pretty clear that the aforementioned website is running interference, a smear job if you will, for Hillary Clinton.  Many on the right took the bait rebuking Sanders for his weird theory.  In actuality, it’s best to ignore his dark little world in view of the Duggar and Hastert soap operas.

Bernie is irrelevant.  He’s got a snowflake’s chance in hell of surviving the primaries much less being nominated by his party at their convention.  Yes, there’s an ick factor here.  There’s at least one woman who doesn’t fantasize about violent sex.  So, Bernie got that wrong, but damn what a rumpled, unshorn little maple-syrup-swilling little creep.

Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

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The Joe Bydena, (Cassanovae Plagiaristmus), commonly known as a "laughing' hyena, is, in reality, more of a "laughed at" hyena. Although phylogenetically closer to weasels, Joe Bydenas are behaviorally and morphologically similar to canines in several aspects; in other words, the Joe Bydena frequently acts like a dog. Both hyenas and canines are non-arboreal, cursorial hunters that catch prey from behind, sometimes massaging the shoulders of unsuspecting prey.

Hyenas groom themselves often, and are considered quite vain. They defecate in the same manner as other Carnivora, though they never stand when urinating, as urination serves no territorial function for them. Instead, hyenas mark their territories using their anal glands. In the wild, the Bydena has been known to imitate the calls of other alpha males, particularly the Welshae Coalminerimus

Hyenas are used for food and medicinal purposes in some areas, including Muslim nations under the Shafiite school, where hyenas are considered halal because of their omnivorous diet. This practice dates back to the times of the Ancient Greeks and Romans, who believed that different parts of the hyena's body were effective means to ensure love and fertility. This differs somewhat from the Joe Bydena's opinion that ALL parts of the hyena's body were effective means to ensure love and fertility!

The Joe Bydena ideally sees itself as a pack animal, even leader of a pack, if it could only find a single pack that would accept it.

Exotic Animals: Collect the whole set!
Donald Trumpetfish
Bernie Panders
Mike Huccameleon

Thursday, May 28, 2015


Billy Jeff holds up the official THIEFA World Cup ball

Upon leaving the White House in 2001, the Clintons took more than $75,000 worth of china, cutlery, and furniture to furnish new homes in upstate New York and Washington.
When Dianne Sawyer interviewed Hillary after the release of her latest book, Hard Choices, Clinton said, “…we came out of the White House not only dead broke, but in debt.  We had no money when we got there and we struggled to, you know, piece together resources for mortgages for houses…”

Just two weeks after leaving the White House, Billy Jeff delivered hundreds of paid speeches, lifting a family that was “dead broke” to a point of extraordinary wealth totaling some $106 million.

Earlier this month, on NBC’s Today Show, Cynthia McFadden asked ‘ol Bill if he would continue giving paid speeches of $500,000 each.  His answer:  “I gotta pay our bills.”

Before yesterday’s unsealing of indictments by U.S. officials against 14 top officials of soccer’s world governing body, the Clinton Foundation was in bed with tin pot dictatorships to earn the money necessary to keep Bill and Hillary in the lap of luxury and to grease the palms of Clinton hit man Sid “Vicious” Blumenthal whom they employed full-time at the “foundation” and paid $10,000 per month from 2009 to 2013.

America’s most famous grifters have now been outted for also being in bed with FIFA which is facing charges of racketeering, bribery, money-laundering and fraud.
June 25, 2010:  Billy Jeff hobnobbing with CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer, former CBS anchor Katie Couric and Clinton’s money man Terry McAuliffe at the World Cup Round of 16

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Is Your Valley Girl, Marie Harf, Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader is a quiz show that features adult contestants and questions directly from the textbooks of first through fifth graders.

Word came yesterday that Acting State Department spokesimbecile Marie Harf is being promoted to Senior Advisor for Strategic Communications to Secretary of State John “Why-The-Long-Face” Kerry.  Initially, I thought the story emanated from the satirists at The Onion, but no, the story is befuddlingly true.  She will assist the equally cretinous propagandist Kerry in the Obama Administration’s catastrophic foreign policy between the U.S. and the hostile nation of Iran on…wait for it…nuclear weapons.

Ian Tuttle once opined that Marie Harf must be under the impression that the film Legally Blonde was a documentary.  I doubt anyone would disagree with that assessment.  Suffice to say Ms. Harf does not have a rich intellectual life.  She’s intellectually incurious and dumber than a box of rocks, but that’s being wickedly unfair to the rocks.  God help us all.

Kissing Evil’s Ass

There is a cancer in the heart of Islam.  It is metastic and spreading with impunity throughout the globe.

The word “Islamophobia” has been injected into our language by Muslim apologists to menace us into giving up our human rights and ultimately surrender to sharia law.  The doublethink of the word has been weaponized against us. 

A war of words has raged for more than three weeks over a contest promoted by Pamela Geller in Garland, Texas at the very same conference center where Islamic activists three months earlier had convened to demand that free speech in America be restricted and forbid cartoons, books and films which they find insulting.

In its aftermath, the media rushed to condemn the event calling it a “Muslim-baiting stunt.”  Descriptives of Geller included terms like demagogue, exciter, firebrand, fomenter, incendiary, inciter, agitator, instigator and rabble-rouser.  That’s fine.  That’s their opinion, but satire exposes sociopaths and sociopathic ideologies.  The event flushed out two radical Islamist terrorists living among us who drove 1,000 miles to kill the conferees.

 As the YouTube™ film Fitna closes, a clear warning is given to the viewer:

Muslims want you to make way for Islam, but Islam does not make way for you.
The government insists that you respect Islam, but Islam has no respect for you.
Islam wants to rule and seeks to destroy our Western civilization.

We can delude ourselves as the memory of 9/11 fades into complacency, but to do so imperils every aspect of our western civilization.  Case in point:  Secretary of Homeland Security, Jeh Johnson said in February of this year, “We in the administration and the government should give voice to the plight of Muslims living in this country and the discrimination that they face. And so I personally have committed to speak out about the situation that very often people in the Muslim community in this country face. The fact that there are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world and the Islamic faith is one about peace and brotherhood.”

Now Ms. Geller intends to show Americans what is being kept from them by the political, cultural and academic elites of this country.  Through her human rights advocacy group, American Freedom Defense Initiative, a new ad campaign is being launched featuring the winning Muhammad cartoon on metro buses and trains in the District of Columbia.
Cartoon reprinted with permission from its creator Bosch Fawstin
Far too many elite squishes find Geller’s ads jarring. The point of her ads is the unvarnished truth—will we acquiesce to the terrorists’ threats of violence and be frightened into submission or send a clear and convincing message that we will not kiss their ass.

After the attacks of 9/11 Geller said, “[They] threatened my freedom.  They threatened the air that I breathe.  This is nothing short of a battle between freedom and slavery.”

Geller has been added to the savages’ death list accompanied by the following warning:  “Our aim was khanzeer (pig) Pamela Geller and to show her that we don’t care what land she hides in or what sky shields her; we will send all our lions to achieve her slaughter.”

"They want me dead for violating sharia blasphemy laws. What remains to be seen is whether the free world will finally wake up and stand for the freedom of speech,” Geller said.

It’s time to choose sides.  Will you accept the assassin’s veto by kissing evil’s ass and accepting the boundaries of your freedom set by murderous extremists?

Monday, May 25, 2015

Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

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The Mike Huccameleon, Rockandrollimus Wannabeae , is part of a distinctive and highly specialized clade of old world lizards. (Not to be confused with wizards, which the Huck's church might frown upon.) Mike Huccameleons are distinguished by their zygodactylous feet; their very long, highly modified, rapidly extrudable tongues; their swaying gait and their ability to play bass guitar in garage bands.

Like snakes, chameleons do not have an eardrum. However, chameleons are not deaf: they can detect sound frequencies in the range of 200–600 Hz. Like I said...bass.

Smaller arboreal chameleons (both smaller species and smaller individuals of the same species) have recently been found to have proportionately larger tongue apparatuses than their larger counterparts, making them good for stump speeches and as talk show hosts.

Huccameleons are found in warm habitats that range from Arkansas to Iowa. As with most chameleons, the Mike Huccameleon is able to blend into his surroundings. His fiscal conservative coloration can be quite effective at a distance. Up close is another matter.

The Mike Huccameleon is a good natured creature and make an excellent pets. Although they have been known for decisions that come back to bite them.

Exotic Animals: Collect the whole set!
Donald Trumpetfish
Bernie Panders

They Stepped Forward To Say “Send Me, I Will Go,” And Never Came Home

Pausing today to remember the sacrifices of our fallen warriors, it has been difficult to watch the gains of ISIS in Iraq’s Anbar Province and the subsequent fall of Ramadi where America’s first Navy SEAL, Marc Lee, was killed in a ferocious firefight.

Gold Star mother Debbie Lee, Marc’s mom, traveled to Ramadi in 2007 and returned home with some of its powdery soil in a plastic bag where her son’s blood was shed.  She sat watching her TV as the black flag of ISIS flew above the city.  Her outrage and grief can never be fully imagined.

So deep was her anguish she wrote a letter to Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Martin E. Dempsey following his controversial comment about the fall of that city.  Dempsey said, “The city itself is not symbolic in any way.  It’s not been declared part of the caliphate on one hand or central to the future of Iraq.”

In her letter Lee wrote, “I’ve traveled to Ramadi and visited Camp Marc Lee in 2007. I brought back soil from that city where Marc breathed his last. I interviewed Iraqi General Anwer in 2010 when I returned. I asked him if you could say one thing to the American people what would you tell them. He paused and with deep emotion said, ‘We will tell our children and our grandchildren for generations to come what Americans have done. There is American blood poured out on our soil.’” Lee added, “It seems the Iraqis understand the importance more than you do sir.”

Dempsey sent a short letter of apology stating he did not mean to add to her grief writing, “Marc and so many others died fighting to provide a better future for Iraq.  He and those with whom he served did all that their nation asked.  They won their fight and nothing will ever diminish their accomplishments nor the honor in which we hold their service.”

Dempsey has gained a reputation for being more interested in his post-military career and future benefits than the well-being of our troops.  He has become, as Sen. John McCain stated, “the most disappointing Chairman of the Joint Chiefs that I have seen, and I have seen many of them…he has basically been the echo chamber for the president.”

On D-Day seventy years ago, Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower said in his address to the troops who would storm the beaches of Normandy, “You are about to embark upon the great crusade toward which we have striven these months.  The eyes of the world are upon you…I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty and skill in battle.  We will accept nothing less than full victory.”  These inspiring words are inscribed on a wall at the World War II Memorial.

There are other inscriptions at the memorial referring to America’s “righteous might” and the “destruction of the enemy.”  At the northern end there is a monument that bears the words of Gen. George Marshall:  “Our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand and of overwhelming force on the other.”

There is no monument in Washington and there may never be one to the American soldiers who have fought and died in Iraq and Afghanistan thanks to the Commemorative Works Act of 1986.  The act prohibits new war memorials until at least ten years after the officially designated end of a conflict.  If military operations against the evil forces of terrorism mean a permanent state of war, there may never be any memorials in our nation’s capital.

The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer’s fixation on his legacy will prove most discomforting if his words were to be carved in stone.  After the Islamic State won major battles in Iraq and Syria last week he said, “I don’t think we’re losing.”

At Arlington National Cemetery, alabaster headstones are a sobering reminder that even in death our soldiers stand as sentinels of unquestionable courage and sacrifice and we must honor those virtues.

At sunrise this morning, I lowered the flag on the 20-foot flagpole in my yard to half-staff.  All morning it hung there motionless.  According to tradition, at noon I reverently hoisted it to full height.  As if on cue, it caught the wind and flapped proudly as if to signal hope beyond death.

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

I can tell by where your eyes are looking what you’re thinking.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

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The Donald Trumpetfish, Apprenticus Televismus, is widespread throughout the tropical waters of western Atlantic Ocean from Florida to Brazil including the Caribbean Sea and the Gulf of Mexico. It is found as far north as the cooler waters around Atlantic City.

The gills are pectinate, oddly enough resembling the teeth of a comb. Trumpetfish swim slowly, sneaking up on unsuspecting prey, or lying motionless, swaying back and forth with the wave action of the water. They are adept at camouflaging themselves and often swim in alignment with sharks, or other, larger fishes. They feed almost exclusively on smaller fish.

Although some Trumpetfish have been known to mate for life, the Donald Trumpetfish does not do well in captivity.

Cloudy With A Chance Of Boko Haram

Remember the soaring rhetoric of the 2008 Democratic nominee who promised, “Generations from now we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal?”

At his commencement address to the United States Coast Guard Academy, The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer inadvertently admitted to those graduates that he overpromised that entire pabulum declaring, “The planet is getting warmer,” and lectured them on “the urgent need to combat and adapt to climate change.”

“Now, I know there are still some folks back in Washington who refuse to admit that climate change is real,” he insisted.  “Denying it or refusing to deal with it endangers our national security.  It undermines the readiness of our forces.  It is a dereliction of duty.”

He laughably linked extreme weather to the rise of Boko Haram and the outbreak of war in Syria.  He recited a litany of weather disasters he claimed were caused by climate change and geopolitical unrest.

His absurd obsession is doubtless the reason he missed the threat of ISIS and he wields the subject as a distraction to dodge the “setbacks” of recent days.  He is not only an incompetent president he is an epically stupid weatherman.

That’s not a warm front amassing in the “caliphate”; it’s a horde of marauding fiends and those who have had their heads chopped off didn’t die due to a little drizzle.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

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The Bernie Panders (Socialismus fulgens), also called "Red" or lesser panda, not to be confused with the lesser pander, which is associated with the Clinton Foundation. The Bernie Panders is a small arboreal mammal native to Vermont. 

The specific epithet fulgens is Latin for "shining", which may refer to the path taken by the reds. Panda is the French name for the Roman goddess of peace and travelers, whereas the Pander is more amenable to fellow travelers. The species is generally quiet except for some twittering, tweeting, and Facebook communication. It has been reported to be both nocturnal and crepuscular. 

Results of phylogenetic research and party affiliation indicate strong support for its taxonomic classification in its own family Progressivae, along with the weasel, raccoon and skunk families. Primarily the former and the latter. 

The Bernie Panders is considered a living fossil and only distantly related to the giant pander (Stainedbluedressicus embarrasae).

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

“And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It's good for you.” 
 Kurt Vonnegut

Friday, May 15, 2015

He Bent Notes To Make Them Cry

From his official website, B.B. King sent a message on May 1, 2015 to his fans announcing, “I am in home hospice care at my residence in Las Vegas. Thanks to all for your well wishes and prayers.”

The voice that gave us honey-sweet vocals and passionate licks on his beloved guitar Lucille fell silent today.

B.B. King was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 1990 at the age to 64.  He lived his life on the road sometimes spending 300 days a year performing.  His lifestyle made it difficult to follow the measures needed to prevent or reduce complications associated with the disease.

He had been rushed to the hospital in late 2014 forcing him to cancel his remaining performances.  Published reports say his daughters suspected his manager of stealing his money and neglecting his medical care.  They told a judge they had been blocked from seeing their father and accused manager, Laverne Toney, of elder abuse.

Reports say the cause of death was dehydration and exhaustion.  As a person with diabetes, I spent many years traveling across the country as a mentor giving presentations on managing diabetes and how to achieve good blood sugar control through helpful suggestions and encouragement so that people could enjoy a healthier life.

Today, I am saddened to hear of the passing of “The King of Blues.”  His suffering is over.  May he rest in peace.

Exotic Animals of the 2016 Campaign

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Hillarymadillos Showmethecashimus Serverblankimus, are New World Order placental mammals with a leathery armor shell. Because of this, Hillarymadillos prefer to be photographed only in soft focus. This armor-like skin ,although thin, appears to be the main defense of the Hillarymadillo, though some escape predatory reporters by fleeing, often into vans and prearranged photo ops, from which their armor protects them. When startled by honest questions, the species frequently roll up into a ball. 

Hillarymadillos have been spotted in Illinois, as far south as Arkansas and primarily can be found in New York state. The Hillarymadillo has very poor eyesight and are prolific diggers. Many species use their sharp claws to grub for money, preferably gold and cash. Bearer bonds, Russian caviar and large speaking fees have been known to lure the species from its lair.

 Hillarymadillos are solitary animals that do not share.

Monday, May 11, 2015

Halperin® - Non-Narcotic Sleep Aid

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Mark Halperin conducted a shamefully racist interview with Ted Cruz, asking questions no self respecting reporter would ever ask of a candidate's ethnicity. Think Progress, which is a little to the left of Marx, Engels and Alinsky, offered this headline:

Personally, his name sounds like it could be a substitute for Sominex. Listening to his interviews may have the same effect. No one knows. No one has actually been able to sit through an entire one.

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Flowing Curves Of Beauty

“Flirting is a woman’s trade, one must keep in practice.” 

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mother's Day

No matter where I am or what I am doing, your memories will always keep me smiling.
I miss you.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Innocent Until Proven Guilty?

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"To those of you who wish to engage in brutality, misconduct, racism and corruption, let me be clear: There is no place in the Baltimore City Police Department for you."--Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake
I don't know about you, but to me the implication is the six officers who were arrested, three white, three black, are guilty of brutality, misconduct, racism and corruption. Seems pretty obvious to her, I guess. But, don't police officers have the same right of presumption of innocence that the rest of us are supposed to enjoy?

You know what else there's no place in the Baltimore City Police Department? Cannibalism. Pedophilia. Usury. Lots of things. Other than pandering to the mob, what is the point in listing 'racism' as being unacceptable to the Baltimore PD, when three of the six officers in this incident are black?

To imply that any or all of these six officers are guilty of any brutality, misconduct, racism or corruption, before the first shred of evidence is presented against them is demagoguery.

Part of the problem of a big city like Baltimore is that their mayor is half-Blaked.