Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Dear Diary: I Took A Nut Shot From The President

In the Rose Garden yesterday, President Trump announced the United States has tested one million people for COVID-19 and unveiled a new rapid test kit manufactured by Abbott Laboratories which delivers a negative result in 13 minutes when the virus is not detected.

Also during the Coronavirus Task Force press conference, he announced Ford Motor Company is repurposing an auto parts factory west of Detroit to start building simple ventilators to treat patients diagnosed with the virus.

CNN was allowed admittance to the presser.  It was towards the end of the briefing the President called on Jim Acosta.  “Go ahead, let’s give it a shot,” he said.

The arrogant sumbitch mentioned a number of statements the President had made about the virus in recent weeks before asking, “What do you say to Americans who believe that you got this wrong?”

"If you look at those individual statements, they are all true. 'Stay calm. It will go away.' You know, it is going away. And it will go away, and we're going to have a great victory,'" the President said. "It’s people like you and CNN that say things like that. It’s why people just don’t want to listen to CNN anymore."

"I don't want panic in the country. I could cause panic much better than even you," he said. "I would make you look like a minor league player, but you know what? I don't want to do that. I want to have our country be calm. Instead of asking a nasty, snarky question like that, you should ask a real question."

Monday, March 30, 2020

Flowing Curves Of Beauty


We are on this Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I'm not really sure.





Saturday, March 28, 2020

Yes, My Liege

Inescapable facts:  China knew in November 2019 about the coronavirus and lied to the world about its outbreak.  Xi Jinping refused offers to help from outside the regime to prevent its spread.  It did not close its borders to prevent carriers of the virus from transmitting it outside the affected region.  It silenced anyone who attempted to sound the alarm.

When China closed down the Wuhan Province in late January 2020 sealing off 11 million, the Democrat Media Complex downplayed the deadly global threat to come.

Two weeks later, China extended the lockdown to 50 million people.  It was only then the Washington Post showed any concern.

A month after that, CNN’s Anderson Cooper told his three viewers, “So, if you’re freaked out at all about the coronavirus, you should be more concerned about the flu.”

One of the problems with coronavirus coverage is the major media outlets have been insufficiently skeptical of China’s government for decades. National Review’s Jim Geraghty compiled “The Comprehensive Timeline of China’s COVID-19 Lies,” and it’s infuriating.  

Xi Jinping’s state-run media are relying on critics of President Trump to step up its propaganda attacking the United States by spreading deliberate lies about the pandemic outbreak. The regime’s distortions of the truth are now more than abstract problems for the international community.

The American media’s myopic concerns are not about matters of life and death; rather they are about political correctness and electoral politics and they are eager to help China gaslight the entire world.
The White House Coronavirus Task Force briefings reveal the schism between what the President tells Americans and what the media says he says. 

Effing disgraceful.

COVID-19 has spread to more than 177 countries, claiming more than 27,000 lives according to the Center for Systems Science and Engineering at Johns Hopkins University at 12:53:01 AM on March 28, 2020 precisely because of the Chinese government’s arrogance and incompetence.  One can only wonder what is motivating Western journalists who pretend the contrary is true.

Tectonix GEO ran an analysis using data from anonymized cellphones that were active during Spring Break at just one Florida beach.  It’s a frightening insight into how the movement of people across states is proliferating the country’s outbreak as local, state and federal officials desperately try to keep the public at home to flatten the curve.

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

The Clusterf**k President Trump Inherited

President Trump has pointed out that he “inherited” a woefully under-prepared system to deal with the coronavirus pandemic. The Washington Examiner highlighted reports from the Los Angeles Times and Bloomberg News which attempted to criticize the President but buried an important piece of information about the mask shortages. It turns out the Obama Administration is squarely at fault for the current lack of N95 masks, not President Trump.

Last Thursday, after a growing swell of questions arose asking, “Where’s Joe?” the former Vice President tweeted:
The deliberately incurious Democrat Media Complex never questioned The World’s Most Dangerous Community Organizer for ANYTHING. EVER.

Lo and behold, from a source you would never expect, The Washington Post reported last week, “After Barack Obama became President in 2009, he eliminated the White House Health and Security Office, which worked on international health issues. But after grappling with the 2014 Ebola epidemic, Obama in 2016 established a Directorate for Global Health Security and Biodefense at the NSC. A directorate has its own staff, and it is headed by someone who generally reports to the National Security Adviser.”

The H1N1 outbreak originated in Mexico. Despite calls from members of Congress to do so, the Obama Administration refused to restrict travel with Mexico or close the border.

President Trump proved that theory wrong when he took the bold step of banning travel from China back in January. He got torched for it. Barely a month later, World Health Organization experts admitted it worked and saved lives. America has not, at least to this point, experienced the catastrophic outbreaks seen in Italy and Iran.

After 100 million masks were used in the H1N1 outbreak in 2009, it was strongly recommended the Obama Administration replenish the masks.  Obama and Biden blew it off. Charles Johnson, President of the International Safety Equipment Association said, “our Association is unaware of any major effort to restore the stockpile to cover that draw-down. ”The outbreak “caused a 2 to 3-year backlog of orders for the N95 variety [respirator face masks],” adding “the stockpile distributed about three-quarters of its inventory and didn’t build back the supply.”

The media’s blind rage and fatal arrogance compels them to repeatedly denigrate President Trump for his handling of this pandemic.  Don’t be fooled.  They want you ignorant and terrified.  They think you’re stupid.

But wait.  There’s more. 

The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) is now turning to targeting President Trump as part of its global disinformation campaign by aggressively pushing the narrative that this is the “Trump Pandemic.”

China’s state-run Global Times newspaper in a March 22 article, titled “Trump Pandemic Rages,” attacked the President’s response to the Chinese virus and promoted the anti-Trump hashtags (#Trumpandemic and #TrumpVirus)—claiming Trump has now “run into a brick wall.”

There is a direct relationship between the brutal and oppressive nature of the communist regime and the global spread of COVID-19.

Internal government documents have highlighted how the Red Chinese purposefully underreported cases of the Wuhan virus and censored discussions of the outbreak, helping to fuel the spread of the disease, which is now confirmed to have infected more than 383,000 people internationally according to data from the Center for Systems Science and Engineering (CSSE) at Johns Hopkins University as of 5:28 AM on March 24, 2020. 

Monday, March 23, 2020

A Dream Remembered, A Civilization Gone With The Virus

This is the story of a woman and a civilization going through a war with an unseen enemy that will leave no one unchanged in its aftermath.

Scarlett O’Hara is a woman who can deal with a nation at war, selfish bastards carrying off everything from disinfecting wipes, hand sanitizer, comfort food and yes, toilet paper to hoard for themselves without any regard for their fellow man.

What will she have to do to survive?

The store shelves are barren.  Amazon can’t keep anything in stock.  Lawdy, whatever will she do?

Much like the scene in Gone With The Wind where a starving Scarlett hungrily pulls up a tiny radish to eat, our heroine can be heard to say, “As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be without toilet paper again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be paperless again.”

In the final scene, with tear-stained eyes uplifted in a sudden, curious burst of hope beneath all the turmoil of the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020 we hear her say, “After all, tomorrow is another day.”

Flowing Curves Of Beauty

One great thing about working from home during the coronavirus lockdown is the dress code. Now pants optional Monday doesn’t end up with a Human Resources hearing like in the past.




Sunday, March 22, 2020

Take Two Eggrolls Tater And Call Me In The Morning

I was perusing the Twitter machine and found this totes adorbs nugget from CNN’s helium-voiced chubbo Tater Stelter.  It seems he’s keeping a “Dear Diary” just like his equally self-absorbed colleague Jim Acosta.

Here’s the entry from his “special Saturday night/Sunday morning edition” newsletter:
Every day blends together, one into the next, with few clear delineations between weekdays and weekends except for the newscasts on TV. The news is a dull roar — empowering some of the time but disconcerting most of the time. The reports from hospitals are straight out of a nightmare. And if you're anything like me, the virus has started to infect your dreams, too.
Mostly I wanted to write an abbreviated edition of the newsletter to say: Hang in there. Stay strong. Whatever mix of emotions you're feeling right now, others are too. Write it down. Get it out. Someday your loved ones can read your diary about this experience. In the Stelter household, we're recording lots of videos and making lots of FaceTime calls and writing lots of newsletter items...
UPDATE:  Welcome readers of Whatfinger News.  United we stand six feet apart until this pandemic is over.  Please stay healthy.

A Walk On The Wild Side

Saturday, March 21, 2020

CNN Asks: “What Would High School Burnout Jeff Spicoli Do?”

On Thursday evening CNN’s Anderson Cooper hosted a global Town Hall with world-renowned epidemiology and virology expert Sean Penn.

During the farcical town hall, Penn was asked to share his expertise on how the U.S. military could stop the spread of the Chinese virus everyone wants us to refer as COVID-19 so as not to stigmatize the pandemic’s country of origin.

Penn will always be Jeff Spicoli, the bud-loving high school burnout who starred in Fast Times At Ridgemont High, in my eyes.

Spicoli said, “There is no greater humanitarian force on the planet than the United States military. The logistical skills, commitment to service, their care for the people. It’s really time to give the military the full breadth command and control of this operation. I wouldn’t blink, I would have put command and control in their hands a month ago, certainly today.”

“I could talk quite a bit about what should have been done, now with the lives that have been lost and the amount of people that are sick, clearly what we have to do, and what the military does so well, in terms of coordination…coordinating with hospitals, building hospitals, they can build a hospital in 25 minutes,” Penn said, explaining that he highly respects the National Guard but the military is needed on U.S. soil during the pandemic.

Spicoli Penn has no medical background, although he did play a 19th-century doctor in a movie last year. He has never served a day in the military.  He is a wife beater.  He just adores murderous drug cartel leaders like Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman.  In 2016 he interviewed the Mexican drug lord for Rolling Stone.  The interview unintentionally made it possible for U.S law enforcement to locate and capture the slimeball.

The socialist douchebag has repeatedly drawn criticism for his activist efforts even attempting to blend it with journalism by visiting Iraq after the U.S. invasion in 2005.

What CNN’s Town Hall amounted to was little more than an attack on President Trump’s handling of this national health emergency.  It offered little in the way of rational information, instead it promoted panic and hysteria.  Their desperation to fill up airtime with a hard-left, intellectually underdeveloped actor is both unserious and disgraceful.

My friend over at Diogenes’ Middle Finger has a quote I’d like to share with you: 
“It's in the nature of political writing and reporting to dramatize and the rewards in the Internet era are entirely on the side of hysterical dramatization.  The past 20 years of Internet-driven panic and hysteria have dramatically lowered the public opinion of media; writers and artists in general. In the liberal community, these professions are generally seen as caring and driven by the desire to educate. But that's seldom true.  Those professions are mostly home to reckless drama queens determined to advance their personal ambitions with dramatic presentations. And most of those entertainers and artists aren't very smart.  The emotionally self-indulgent are naturally inclined to be irrational.”
Last yesterday afternoon, POLITICO published a report pointing out former Vice President Joe Biden has made no public appearances or statements since his most recent victories against Comrade Bernie.  He has instead been talking with health officials, businesses, governors and members of Congress in an effort to start “shadow briefing” on the coronavirus pandemic to show how he would handle the crisis.

Biden’s home is being outfitted with equipment that would enable him to livestream events, have interactive tele-press conferences and broadcast interviews with network television.  Biden confessed he hired a professional team to do that because “that’s a little above my pay grade to know how to do that.”

Brad Parscale, Trump Campaign Manager said, “Biden will take attention from real updates Americans should know just to score political points.”

His first virtual town hall, a week ago today, was an unmitigated disaster rife with technical difficulties, garbled audio, blank screens and randomly going live to unsuspecting participants.  And hilariously, at one point Biden walked out of the frame and could be heard asking, “Am I on camera?”

UPDATE:  Welcome readers of Whatfinger News.  Thanks for stopping by and please stay healthy.  We’d love to have you come back again.

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

It Is Better To Remain Silent And Be Thought A Fool Than To Speak And Remove All Doubt

Bless his heart.  Wanting desperately to appear presidential, Sleepy Joe Biden issued a statement calling out the Trump Administration’s so-called “inaction” to the growing pandemic and pressing him to invoke the Defense Production Act to meet the increasing demand for life-saving hospital equipment.
Babbling Biden said, “Prioritize and immediately increase domestic production of any critical medical equipment required to respond to this crisis.”
President Trump had already declared his intention to invoke the Defense Production Act as part of America’s war against the coronavirus.  The 1950 Act grants the President broad authority to mobilize the private sector to manufacture emergency materials for the purpose of national defense and national security.
“Right after we finish this [press] conference,” the President said, “I’ll be signing it and it’s ready to go.  There’s never been an instance like this where no matter what you have it’s never enough.  If we need to use it, we’ll be using it at full speed ahead.”

More than 50 Democrats sent a letter to the President urging him to invoke the Defense Production Act.  Something tells me when the President cleaned out that viper’s nest when he got rid of Lt. Col. Vindman and his twin brother from the NSC the pipeline of leaks was shut off and the Democrats did not count on the President taking the action.  They thought they had him.  President Trump outfoxed them good and hard. 

Love in the Time of Covid 19

Will Comrade Bernie Drop Out Now? Who Cares?

Everybody knew Bernie was going to lose Florida once he spoke in glowing terms about dictator Fidel Castro who was responsible for driving a million Cubans into the sea toward the Sunshine State.

His trash-talking about Israel and its democratic leadership while surrounding himself with openly anti-Semitic surrogates like Ilham Omar, Rashida Tlaib and the Bronx Bolshevik was an unmistakable turnoff for Florida’s 600,000 Jews.

A scant three weeks ago bumbling, stumbling Uncle Joe had been left for dead.  Since that time he has won 19 of 24 Democratic primaries.

After Biden’s highly anticipated victory in South Carolina, voters went for him on Super Tuesday by a margin of 47 to 26 over Comrade Bernie.

Biden beat Bernie by nearly 39 points in Florida. That’s bad if you’re the commie.  Just how bad you ask?  No Box Bloomberg, who dropped out of the race two weeks ago got more votes in Florida than Bernie’s totals in New Hampshire, Iowa and Nevada.

In state after state, Sanders underperformed in comparison with 2016.

Bernie has hit a brick wall.

UPDATE:  The marxist old fart has paused his digital advertising spend on Facecrap ads following his disappointing showing in Tuesday’s primaries.  He and his wife Jane are traveling back to Vermont to “assess the path forward.”

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Oh Sweetie, Save Your Outrage For Another Day

Weijia Jiang, a CBS News correspondent accused an unnamed White House official of calling COVID-19 the “Kung Flu” this morning in a tweet and Brandon Morse, Senior Editor at the website RedStates, lowered the boom on her:
Morse’s reference may be lost to the younger set.  It comes from the single released in 1974 by Bus Stop during the chop-socky film craze that featured martial arts and kung fu films made in Hong Kong and Taiwan.  The song has been featured in films like Rush Hour 3, Beverly Hills Ninja and Kung Fu Panda 3.

It’s an indisputable fact that the Wuhan Virus, known to all of us as coronavirus or COVID-19, originated in Wuhan, China, the capital of Hubei Province. Every documentable piece of evidence demonstrates this to us.

China is doing exactly what you would expect a communist nation to do—manipulate public opinion via the woke leftism of a complicit Democrat Media Complex. The idea that we can’t label the virus by its place of origin without being xenophobic is laughable when, in fact, the media was calling it exactly that recently.

On March 8, the People’s Republic of China’s state-run rag Xinhua threatened to impose pharmaceutical export controls after which America would be “plunged into the mighty sea of coronavirus.”

The article goes on to imply China would be justified in taking such a step. It would simply be retaliating against “unkind” U.S. measures taken after COVID-19’s emergence, such as restricting entry to the U.S. by Chinese and foreigners who had visited China.

Inside China, a raft of conspiracy stories has appeared online, including that the contagion was spread by the U.S. military. This bile was spewed by Lijian Zhao, Deputy Director General for Red China’s Foreign Ministry who tweeted, “It might be the US Army who brought the epidemic to Wuhan. Be transparent! Make public your data!  US owe us an explanation!”

Can any one of you imagine Germany, Japan or other responsible nations performing such a dark passive aggressive threat disguised as hurt feelings?

The pull quotes from one of my favorite columnists, Victor Davis Hanson, hits the nail on the head:
“In a reductionist sense, it is not surprising that a China, systematically lying to and cheating its trading partners, cannot be trusted to tell the world how a virus was born on its own soil, spread among its population, and hopped oceans into other nations.” 
“When the virus peters out and the panic fades, China may be permanently rebranded and recalibrated by the world at large. Its trading partners will trust it far less to honor any commitments or to abide by any international agreements. Supply chains will be diversified. Tourism will be reduced in fears another such coronavirus will follow SARS and COVID-19—and be hushed up. Countries that had particular close commercial and cultural ties with China—Iran, South Korea, and Italy—were hurt most during the epidemic by Chinese silence and duplicity.”
I guess I’ll have to own up to a willingness to stigmatize the culture a of people who dine in disgusting “wet markets” that feature bamboo rats, civets, pangolin, bats, snakes, wriggling grubworms, live snakes, turtle, cicadas, guinea pigs, badgers, hedgehogs, otters and even wolf cubs.  So yeah, people in this country will get a little rude when you start a pandemic that destroys people’s lives. 

Monday, March 16, 2020

Flowing Curves Of Beauty


I’m not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far, it’s not 27.




Saturday, March 14, 2020

The Great Toilet Paper Crisis Of 2020

Toilet paper was purportedly sold out at most major grocery stores, pharmacies and other outlets across the country.  There are videos showing panic-stricken people actually resorting to fisticuffs over the last pack of TP. It’s not only happening here, its happening in Europe and Australia as well. Shoppers are clearing shelves as the number of COVID-19 (coronavirus) cases grow.
Will the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020 last?  Not if Georgia-Pacific and Procter & Gamble can help it. Both companies have noticed the spike in demand and are working to keep store shelves stocked according to Forbes.
If we make it through this pandemic together, let’s all have a day where we wrap ourselves in our unused toilet paper and go outside pretending we’re all mummies.
UPDATE:  Welcome readers of Pirate’s Cove.  We are grateful to Admiral Teach for linking to this post. 

Corrupt Democrat Politician And CNN Contributor Asks For Privacy

This is not just another bizarre “Florida Man” news story.  It’s the story of one of the darlings of the Democrat Party caught in a drug-fueled party with naked gay men in a hotel room.

According to a published report in USA Today, Andrew Gillum, former mayor of Tallahassee and 2018 Democratic nominee for governor of the Sunshine State, was involved in a meth overdose incident in the wee hours of Friday morning in a Miami Beach hotel room.

When cops arrived they found plastic baggies with crystal meth out in the open on the bed and floor of the hotel room.  Gillum was there with two other men.  One had to be treated for a possible drug overdose.

The man being treated was Travis Dyson, who according to WPLG Local 10 in Miami, “identifies as a pornstar performer and mentions gay massages in a Rent Men profile.”  His Instagram account, now made private, shares sexual videos of him with a “muscular man” in a thong he identified as Dyson’s boyfriend.

After the Miami Herald got hold of the police report exposing Gillum to a scandal, he released a statement to the Miami Herald describing Dyson as a “friend”.

"I was in Miami last night for a wedding celebration when first responders were called to assist one of my friends. While I had too much to drink, I want to be clear that I have never used methamphetamines. I apologize to the people of Florida for the distraction this has caused our movement.”

“I’m thankful to the incredible Miami Beach EMS team for their efforts. I will spend the next few weeks with my family and appreciate privacy during this time.”

You can read the Miami PD police report here.

Gillum is no stranger to scandal. His 2018 gubernatorial campaign began to falter after revelations surfaced about his interactions with lobbyists and undercover FBI agents during out-of-town trips.

You might assume the story ends there.  You would be wrong.  Tallahassee Reports reveals “at least nine law enforcement officials responded to the call, including three captains.”

The incident did not result in any arrests.  Why not?  The presence of such high-ranking law enforcement officials raises some serious questions.  You know where I’m going with this.

Miami Beach Mayor Dan Gelber, who donated $1,000 to Gillum’s gubernatorial campaign told reporters, “There does not exist an active investigation surrounding this matter.  I have no further comment.”

The final police report, which has apparently been amended several times, indicates a photographer was on the scene and “BWC USED”.  The acronym BWC refers to Body Worn Camera.

Somebody needs to make a FOIA request for the video before its magically inadvertently erased.  If it is true that there are 768 sealed indictments in the North Florida District, how many have Gillum’s name on them?

Gelber, according to his Wikipedia profile, served in the Florida Legislature from 2000 to 2010 and the Democratic nominee for Attorney General of Florida in 2010.  I smell RICO organized crime activity.

It seems appropriate to quote Walter White (Bryan Cranston) from the hit TV show Breaking Bad:

“If you don’t know who I am, then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.”

Friday, March 13, 2020

Friday Funnies




Somebody Get The Butterfly Net Quick!


House Democrats and the White House fell short of sealing a deal providing economic help to the victims of the devastating coronavirus.

Nancy Pelosi said Thursday night an agreement is all but assured today.

"It's fair to say we're close to an agreement, subject to the exchange of paper, and hope to have an agreement tomorrow," she told reporters just outside her office in the Capitol.

Honest to God, listening to this stuttering clusterfuck should cement in any rational mind this old crone should sit down and shut the eff up.  She reminds me of the old cartoons of Porky Pig  saying, “Tha, tha, that’s all folks!”

Tell me I’m wrong.

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Just Wait Until November

In his historic Oval Office address to the nation on the coronavirus outbreak President Trump said, “We are responding with great speed and professionalism. To keep new cases from entering our shores, we will be suspending all travel from Europe to the United States for the next 30 days.”

The President also announced he will take “emergency action” to give financial relief to impacted workers.

“Using emergency authority, I will be instructing the Treasury Department to defer tax payments without interest or penalty for certain individuals or businesses negatively impacted,” he said. “Finally, I am calling on Congress to provide Americans with immediate payroll tax relief.”

That, however, was not the story on CNN when Jim “Dear Diary” Acosta and Fredo Cuomo were worried about how the President worded his statement.
Even before the World Health Organization (WHO) declared Coronavirus a pandemic on Wednesday, the Democrat Media Complex discovered “Wuhan virus” and “Chinese coronavirus” served as racist dog whistles just in time to attack Republicans during the 2020 election cycle.

COVID-19 originated in China, in Wuhan specifically.  That’s an indisputable FACT.  It spread across the globe due to the Chinese Communist Party's ridiculous, self-serving reluctance to admit error, provide other nations with the DNA and RNA codes to help develop an effective vaccine as well as its seemingly bottomless capacity for arrogance, incompetence and opacity.  Those are FACTS as well.

It is unfathomable to think, in a moment of crisis, the douchebags at CNN are more concerned with something sounding xenophobic than they are about what the President actually said.
I thought it only fitting to have Acosta pictured in a Communist Chinese jersey with his trusty microphone while policing the President’s very somber address to a justifiably worried nation.

Later on in the Fake News evening lineup at CNN, the meltdown continued unabated.  See for yourself. 
If you think this shit was just a teensy bit unhinged, just wait until November when Orange Man Bad wins in a landslide.